I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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