Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize