We won't sleep together?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize