She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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