i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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