I wish I could punch you in the face.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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