If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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