Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize