Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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