Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
