why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
