My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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