Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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