every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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