Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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