My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
