remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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