She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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