I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
