We named our party play list daddy issues
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
