Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
