somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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