well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
