all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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