She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
