my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
