My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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