i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
