OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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