Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
