there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
