dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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