you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
