if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
