your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
