If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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