no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
