dude i'm inner monologue high
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
