God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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