After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize