did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
