yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
