You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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