I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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