tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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