The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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