An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize