Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
