Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
