he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
