Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
