toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
