My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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