i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
