I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize