i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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