Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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