the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
