Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
