When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
