I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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