Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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