His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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