i just had sex bonerless
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
